HIV Status Talking
posted: 01/11/2010
Figures suggest that one in seven gay men on the scene in big cities has HIV, and that among men in their 30s and 40s, perhaps 1 in 3 men have HIV. Shocked? Many gay guys act like the risks aren't there and don’t seem worried. Almost half the gay men having casual sex never talk about HIV status with their partners.
Telling confidence
Telling partners about having HIV is connected with how confident we feel. "It depends on how someone disclosing their status was taken in the past," Sona Barbosa of GMFA explains. "Some people have had really good feedback and they feel more confident saying, 'I'm HIV positive.' But those who've had negative feedback feel more reluctant to disclose."
Negative silence
HIV-negative men find talking about their own HIV status hard to talk about, as the men worry that being open about HIV will frighten off their shag. "People think, 'If I talk too much, I won't be accepted. If I broach the subject of being safe, I may lose the person: and so they find it's better not to talk, and not to risk losing the opportunity.'
But why take the risks (by not talking about your HIV status and not using condoms), putting your health on the line, and then face all the worries that follow taking those risks?
"This is such a cliché, but it's better to be safe than sorry;' says Peter Stevens, agony uncle for QX, the gay lifestyle magazine. "Lots of people are honest, but some guys lie about their status, and others might not even know they're HIV-positive.
So, if you can't be certain of someone's status, be aware of the ways the HIV virus can be transmitted, and make sure you're confident enough to ensure you both practise safer sex.”
The latest issue of FS for NW England for gay and bi men from gmfa includes articles on
- being more confident in talking about sex
- sex, drugs and smoking and breaking our bad habits now
- the 6 stupidest sex questions ever
- the FS problem page
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