Testing Positive
posted: 07/08/2002
There is never a ‘right time’ to receive a positive result and for many people it may feel like the world has been turned upside down by the news of a positive diagnosis. Despite how it may feel at the time, there is a way through the maze of emotions a positive test result brings.
It would be an impossible task to compile a definitive list of the range of emotions experienced by someone who has just been told that they are HIV positive. Shock, anger, disbelief, shame and fear are some of the words used recently by people who have come to see us at George House Trust.
But these are just some of the emotions such news arouses.
Assumptions and life plans made before diagnosis are often thrown into disarray. Some people feel pressure to change those plans and make decisions before feeling ready to do so. Consequently, coming to terms with a positive diagnosis can often mean having to resist well-meaning pressure to ‘get things sorted’.
There is no right or wrong way to behave or react following a positive diagnosis but there should be no pressure on you to believe that your feelings are not valid or that your reaction to your diagnosis is wrong or unusual. Your right is to express your feelings without fear of criticism or judgement.
There is no blueprint for how long it may take for your world to start looking something like it was before but you have a right to support for as long as you may need it. There is no handbook which will tell you ‘what to do next’, but you are entitled to time with someone who will look at the alternatives with you and give you the space to decide what’s best for you.
But what of some of the issues which, in your own time, you may want to find an answer to, such as: Who do I tell? How do I tell them? What should I expect next? What about sex? To say that there is an easy answer to any of these questions would be simplistic in the extreme and to assume that each person asks the self-same questions would be to deny the enormously diverse way in which a positive diagnosis makes its impact.
Quite simply put, the most important questions are those that you, as a newly diagnosed person, feel you need an answer to.
All of us look for our own ways of coping with stressful and difficult experiences. If we’re very lucky indeed, there’s an endless source of friends and family members who will listen without judgement and allow us to find our own way to answer what may initially seem like insurmountable problems. Even if such support does exist for us it may not always be the kind of support we want or need.
It takes time to adjust to the implications of a HIV positive diagnosis and there will be things to think about which, in turn, give rise to questions to which you might think there is no obvious answer.
At George House Trust our belief is that you are entitled to the kind of support that is right for you, at the time you feel you need it and for as long as you want it.
If you are newly diagnosed and want to talk things over, simply give us a call and make an appointment to see a Service Manager.
Colin Armstead is a Services Manager at George House Trust.
If you have any comments about this, or other Insight articles, please e-mail <a href="mailto:insight@ght.org.uk">insight@ght.org.uk</a>
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